French Towns Can Be Funny

So. I've been busy! This past weekend, Patrick and his girls and I made the LONG drive up to Paris and back for his brother's wedding. It was a lovely occasion, the weather was beautiful, and I had the opportunity to meet pretty much all of Patrick's family, as well as a great many friends. We did not take the main interstates up north, as the tolls are fairly momentous on these well-maintained and well-traveled roads; instead, we took the scenic route, using the smaller (but still lovely) national roads that were the only things there used to be, before the advent of the larger "superhighways". It was a long (about eight hours) trip, but a nice one. And, along the way, I started noticing the names of towns and villages that we were passing - they triggered some very interesting conversations, let me tell you. Here's a quick list of the more interesting ones:

• Attainville - is it the fulfillment of a higher purpose to live here??
• Riossy en Brie - a town covered in delicious cheese?
• Combs la Ville - do you get your own official hair-grooming implement upon settling here?
• St. Fargeau - we drove Patrick crazy with our English pronunciaton on this one. Visions of Frances McDormand in a hat with earflaps, transplanted to the French countryside flew through my mind.
• Fleury-en-Biere - you gotta love a town named after the world's greatest beverage
• Malesherbes - bad plants? masculine herbs? who knows?
• Nevers - this one was a favorite, and many bad jokes were made (we would "never" get there, etc.), despite the fact that in French, the name sounds more like "neh-vair', with the aspirated "r" at the end
• Vierzon - I wondered if the Verizon people are aware of this town - maybe whoever named it has a relative from there, thought it was a nice name, and accidentally switched the placement of the I and the E when spelling it?
• Macon - there's actually a little accent mark over the A (a circonflex? it looks like a carat mark), but of course, we immediately thought of that place we all know and love in Georgia ... who knew? Apparently, there is also a "Bacon" somewhere in France. Love it.
• Aigueperse - this one sounds a little like "egg purse" in French, and the girls and I giggled over that nonsense notion for miles. A satchel to carry eggs? A carry-all made of eggshells?
• Cellule - this conjured past biology classes, although I can't say I am absolutely positive there is indeed such a thing as a "cellule' in English - it sounded like something you'd read in a bio textbook, though.
• Pontmort - I think this translates as something like "dead bridge", and that just made me laugh. I mean, really? Where're you from? Oh, I hail from Dead Bridge, it's really nice there this time of year.
• Mozac - A new and improved incarnation of Prozac? Makes you even "mo" calm?
• Coudes - we liked this a lot, because "coude" is french for "elbow" ... any town named after a body part is simply funny for its own sake
• La Ribeyre - Looked to me like a fancy name in a menu for a steak
• St. Flour - I never knew there was a patron saint of bakers. (Nevermind if in French, it sounds like "san floo" ... it's much funnier in English.) I'm picturing a plump-faced fella with a tall white hat who has flour dust in a cloud around his head like a halo. Priceless.

Better even than some of the town names are the store and shop signs ... I love seeing any English at all here, it gives me a charge and helps me feel at home. Sometimes, though, I feel like a little has been lost in the translation. A few examples:

• Babymoov - appeared to be some sort of indoor kids' playground ... pronounced, of course, "bah-bee-moov". Move that kid - NOW!
• Crapa'hutte - I have no idea what this actually is, or if the inspiration came from English, but it certainly made me laugh out loud at the time. It was painted on the covered back of a truck that appeared to be some sort of mobile eating establishment. Hate to tell you, but I ain't never eatin' at a place with "crap" in the name.
• Too Much - name on a trendy-looking clothing store. Do they mean to say that everything costs a lot? Or that this is what folks will say about you, should you purchase and wear their clothing? Either way, I'm thinking - not so much.
• 911 Taxis - Um, so of course the emergency number here in France is NOT 911. But I laughed out loud, thinking of some poor, stranded, injured American dialing 911 hoping for immediate assistance, and instead getting a surly French taxi dispatcher. Oh, Lord.
• Merlot TP - I am guessing that this is some sort of wine designation of which I am not aware, but seeing this painted on the side of an old gas station almost made me pee my pants. In which case, I would have been in dire need of good old Merlot TP. Wipe your ass and experience one of France's greatest products, all at once.

I wish I could've stopped to take pictures of every one of these, but with an eight-hour trip underway, I could only jot them down in my notebook and hope to come this way again someday to snap pics for my scrapbook. Anyway, I definitely enjoyed the trip northward (and then south again) to lovely Paree, and wonder if a day will come when these little French-English bombs will cease to amuse me. God, I hope not.